JLaaS: Justice League as a Service

By on 06/29/2015.

jlaas-it
Being a superhero is tough – it doesn’t pay much (unless you’re Booster Gold) and for guys like Batman, they’re actually hemorrhaging money. Crime grows at a faster rate than they can handle and someone has to pay the bills for that giant space station they call a home base.

280px-JLsatellite2
So they do what everyone ends up having to do – they get jobs.

JLaaS: Justice League as a Service

Each member of the Justice League has a unique skill set, so I thought it would be fun to stick each one in an IT role that best matches up to what they can do. Initially, I’m sticking to the founding members of the Justice League.

250px-Justiceleague_v2_01

Let’s start off with the IT manager…

Aquaman – IT Manager

aquaman

Powers: Super strength, ability to breathe under water, enhanced senses, superhuman durability, superhuman speed, marine telepathy

You thought the IT manager was going to be Superman, didn’t you?

Well, Aquaman makes the most sense to me. For one, he’s the King of Atlantis, so he has experience running things. And, like a lot of IT managers, most people think he’s lame, but in reality, he’s kind of a bad ass.

Aquaman-Batman-Superman-Justice-League-Movie

Since we know Superman isn’t in charge of running the business, we’ll pick his role next…

Superman – Datacenter Admin

superman-ross

Powers: Super speed, super strength, invulnerability, flight, heat vision, ice breath, x-ray vision, super hearing, super intelligence

Superman has all the necessary tools to run an efficient datacenter. He has super speed to be able to maintain thousands of servers, storage devices and other equipment. He has super strength for all that heavy lifting to get things into racks. He can use his heat vision to solder motherboards. He can use his ice breath to help cool the datacenter room. He understands the need for energy efficient datacenters, since he derives his powers from the sun. And he is invulnerable to just about everything on earth, which means he can take whatever bullets the rest of the organization can fire at him when something inevitably breaks.

Batman – Escalations/On Call

batman___gotham_city_by_wildlifehoodoo-d2o7dqd

Powers: Superior intelligence, superior deduction ability, “world’s greatest detective,” computer whiz, utility belt, insomnia, insanity

Batman never sleeps. He patrols the streets of Gotham, protecting his city. He carries numerous gadgets with him while he fights crime. He possesses the necessary troubleshooting ability and just enough “crazy” to be the guy you call at 3AM when your systems have critical failures.

Wonder Woman – Network Security

what-gal-gadot-s-wonder-woman-is-wearing-a-skirt-in-dawn-of-justice-18a2328c-6bea-4af0-9942-84a62bb51179

Powers: Super speed, super strength, super agility, super healing, wisdom of Athena, bullet proof bracelets, flight, magic lasso, sweet ass invisible jet

Wonder Woman has a very unique skillset that allows her advantages over her colleagues in the realm of network security. She has the magic lasso, which can ferret out dishonest hackers and end users, as well as the wisdom of Athena, which makes her multi-lingual and ready to deal with issues that come from any country. Along with super human strategic abilities, she can sniff out any intrusion.

Plus, that sweet ass invisible jet allows her to sneak up on malicious hackers and obliterate them with her superhuman strength. Watch out foreign network intruders!

Let's go catch us some hackers!

Let’s go catch us some hackers!

Green Lantern – Cloud Architect

green-lantern

Powers: Power ring that grants flight, invulnerability; powered by sheer will

Green Lantern Corps is an intergalactic military/police force that patrols sectors throughout the universe. There is a centralized battery that serves up their power, but generally the corps are interchangeable soldiers that aren’t constrained by the limits of a single planet. This is essentially what a cloud is, which makes Green Lantern the perfect fit for our cloud architect position. Plus, he has experience with containers.

Green_Lantern_Vol_2_3

Martian Manhunter – CTO

Martian_ManhunterInj

Powers: Shape shifting, invisibility, phasing, super strength, speed and durability, flight, pre-cognition, telepathy, genius level intellect

The Martian Manhunter is perhaps one of the most powerful of the Justice League. In fact, he’s so valuable, they generally don’t call him in unless completely necessary. Rather, he spends his time in the Justice League Watchtower, monitoring systems, watching Earth for signs of trouble and co-ordinating the rest of the team’s efforts. He’s also responsible for ensuring the Justice League doesn’t overstep its bounds. He can read minds, teleport, and do various other things that make him deserving of the CTO role.

Cyborg – DevOps

Cyborg-New-52

Powers: Cybernetics, ability to interface with a computer, genius level intellect, sensor systems, shape change, superhuman strength, stamina, speed

DevOps is “development” and “operations” in software development, where the software developer also runs the operations portion of the dev cycle. Because Cyborg is pretty much a computer along with being a genius, he is the only Justice League member ideal for the role of DevOps.

The Flash – Storage Administrator

flash

Powers: Super speed via the Speed Force, ability to vibrate through walls, time travel

This one was an obvious choice – everything is about flash these days when it comes to enterprise storage. The Flash is built for speed, as is flash storage (such as NetApp’s All Flash FAS!). Plus, the Flash can travel through time and fix things after they’ve broken, just like snapshots! And like the storage administrator, the Flash is a bit under-appreciated until he’s needed most.

Real Life Lessons

The issues the Justice League face isn’t unlike a lot of IT environments – there are roles for every member of your team and skillsets that best fit their abilities. You call in your specialists when you need them, and in a catastrophe, you bring in the entire team. Data, like crime, is always growing and you need a capable enterprise IT organization to ensure success for your company.

Justin Parisi
Tech Mktg Engineer at NetApp
Justin is a Tech Marketing Engineer for all-things NFS around Data ONTAP at NetApp. He is a VMware vExpert, Cisco Champion, and a member of the NetApp A-Team. He also enjoys comic books, video games, photography, music, film, and current events/politics.

One Comment